Absence makes the heart grow fungus

...thats a line from a barenaked ladies song I think, and the first time I heard it I cracked up, and since then I can't ever hear the expression "absence makes the heart grow fonder" without thinking of it. Anyway, there's a point to this. I'll get to it now.

So after doing some AIM Away Message Stalking the other day, hereon referred to as AMS, I came across various messages with a recurring theme: couples doing the "long-distance thing". For example, I encountered messages like (names changed to protect privacy of the losers): "Honeybunneysnugglepoo, I can't wait to see you this weekend. Only 3 more days til we're together again!!! (insert kissy face emoticon here)" or, on a Sunday night after a weekend visit of the long distance lovers, "I had such a great weekend with you, Sweet Cheeks, it feels like forever til I get to see you again on Friday, you're the best boy/girlfriend in the whole world!" or event the uncreative, impersonal "Miss u babe." I could go on, but I won't. Since then I've decided to cut down on the AMS for sanity reasons and also because from time to time the messages make me throw up a little bit in my mouth, and that just is gross. I searched deep down for some sympathy for those poor unfortunate souls, but alas, couldn't seem to find one ounce of sympathy/empathy/compassion/etc for them. And this is why:

1. Long distance = what?? He lives in Brighton, she lives in Allston? You're a T ride apart, stop whining. He goes to school in NYC, she goes to school in Boston? You're an Amtrak ride/Fung Wah bus ride apart, quit bitching. Etc, etc, etc.
2. Cell phones help the situation. When she's missing her KissyFace so much she just can't go another minute without hearing his voice, Muffins can just pick up her Verizon phone and use her IN minutes to call KF for FREE. It's like you can be virtually together whenever you want, so STFU.

I'm a multiple-layover airplane ride/20 cents per minute by landline phone call away from my CuddleBug. What now?